“I’m Doing It! I Did It!”

ImageIt’s Monday. Take it on like a 4 year old tackling his first single track, dope ass ramp experience—full of enthusiasm and without a trace of fear. Thanks to the GoPro mounted on his helmet, The best part of this video, though, is the audio, so turn it up. Listen for his “oh yeahs” and “oh mans” as he cheers himself on. There’s an adorable miscommunication moment at 1:00  and a small spill at 4:07. Oh, to be four again.

Younger People in Relationships vs. Old(ish) People in Relationships

This just floored me. Via A Cup Of Jo’s husband, an explanation of the different role annoyances play in relationships between younger people and older people. I can’t wait to show this to one of my younger friends the next time they complain about the boyfriend who snaps his fingers when he dances, whistles or likes to eat cereal for dinner while sitting on the couch in his boxers watching Comedy Central and playing Farmville. Some things just shouldn’t carry that much weight.

“Young people in relationships tend to give negative things too much weight and underrate the positives. Negatives often get three times the weight of positives. But look at married couples in their eighties. Their little annoyances are often all they talk and joke about. “Oh, Miriam always says this…” “Oh, Herb always does that…” The little annoyances are acknowledged, accepted and part of the fabric of their relationship. They try act like they’re driving each other crazy but they really can’t live with out each other. Annoyances aren’t a deal killer. They’re a natural part of a long, happy marriage.”

(via: http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/)

All the Single Ladies

To all the single women out there who are looking for a walking date with some cigarette action and maybe a trip to the aquarium plus a guaranteed one night stand—today’s your gettin’ lucky day! I’ve found your man! If you happen to take him up on his offer(s) let me know how it goes. I’m especially curious about which activities you two choose, and what order you do them in.

Can Ex’s Be Friends?

(image via Ben Javens)

This is a topic that comes up a lot in the advice-giving world I live in…can couples survive a break up and remain friends? My short answer is a cautious yes. While I think it is possible, I think it needs to be managed well. And the most important thing is to have a cooling off period. Never try to go from lovers to buddies within a few days, let alone a few weeks. Give yourself some space, ignore the desire to ‘connect’ for ‘closure’ and to ‘re-establish’ the terms of your ‘relationship.’

It just won’t work. Won’t. Work.

There’s no such thing as closure. (Yes, I said it). And, there’s no reason to define anything while you’re licking your newly-single wounds. Just be. Be. And be all on your own for a minute or two. Preferably a month or two.

With some distance, that connection with the ex might not seem so desirable. You might find you don’t have the stuff that makes for a good friendship after all. Or, you might discover the opposite—that you do have room for them in your life. And with that distance from the break up you’ll be in the right head space to make it happen.

If only this guy had taken my advice…he’d still have a head full of teeth.

Conquest or Courtship?

I met an interesting fellow over the weekend and he let me in on a little secret: “When it comes to men pursuing women, it’s either courtship or conquest.” I asked about the fuzzy space between courtship and conquest and he assured me there is no such space. The more I thought about it the next day, the more I believed him to be spot on. I’d love to know what do you all think? Is it one or the other, or is there room for more?

First date advice

I was hanging out with a friend yesterday, I’ll call her Martini, when she got a text from her 20 year-old cousin. “Help. I’m going on a date tonight and freaking out. How do these things work exactly?”

Martini immediately sent a flurry of texts that were not only spot on, but also genius. I’m glad she doesn’t have a site called askmartini.com because it would kick askpiper.com’s ass.

I give you her texts, verbatim. Pay attention, youngsters.

Don’t screw on the first date.

Listen to happy girl music (I like Katy Perry to get into a flirtatious mindset.)

Ask about him and what he likes. Smile and laugh as often as possible.

No garlic or messy food. Maybe stick to appetizers (2 is good) so you don’t eat like a linebacker.

Have fun.

You can touch him while you talk but in a proper Southern girl way.

You do not pay.

Hug and maybe a kiss goodnight. NO TONGUE. 

Sigh. Where was Martini when I was twenty?