(image via Ben Javens)
This is a topic that comes up a lot in the advice-giving world I live in…can couples survive a break up and remain friends? My short answer is a cautious yes. While I think it is possible, I think it needs to be managed well. And the most important thing is to have a cooling off period. Never try to go from lovers to buddies within a few days, let alone a few weeks. Give yourself some space, ignore the desire to ‘connect’ for ‘closure’ and to ‘re-establish’ the terms of your ‘relationship.’
It just won’t work. Won’t. Work.
There’s no such thing as closure. (Yes, I said it). And, there’s no reason to define anything while you’re licking your newly-single wounds. Just be. Be. And be all on your own for a minute or two. Preferably a month or two.
With some distance, that connection with the ex might not seem so desirable. You might find you don’t have the stuff that makes for a good friendship after all. Or, you might discover the opposite—that you do have room for them in your life. And with that distance from the break up you’ll be in the right head space to make it happen.
If only this guy had taken my advice…he’d still have a head full of teeth.