Dear Piper,

What if I want to go see “Tooth Fairy” with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson? Will I ever be respected again?

–Meg

Dear Meg,

Can you rebound on the respect meter from this film? Yes. Will it be easy? Relatively so, if you employ the concept of contrition often used by the Catholic Church: for every sin, a confession and then an act of penance. Voilá, religious forgiveness!

In your case, I think you should try to catch a matinee of “Tooth Fairy.” An earlier viewing feels like less of an affront to the art of cinema. Afterwards, go to a coffee shop near a university and find a surly culture-snob lurking in the corner. He or she will be the one with dirty fingernails working feverishly on a dissertation. Confess your viewing to them and then walk away immediately. Follow that up with a visit to your Netflix queue. Put Kieslowski’s “Dekalog” at the top. Voilá, celluloid forgiveness!

–Piper