Dear Piper,

Why do some men like lesbian strippers?

–Dumbfounded

Dear Dumbfounded,

It happens a little more frequently than Halley’s Comet and a little less frequently than leap years, the question that stumps askpiper. Luckily, I have a few trusted sources on which to rely. I’ve turned to my friend, Spanish Johnny (www.spanishjohnny.com) for some insight into your question and here’s what he had to say: “If there’s one thing Johnny knows, it’s carburetors. That and strippers. Men gravitate toward lesbian strippers because they know no other man will ever have them. In one of life’s greatest ironies, lesbian strippers are looked upon as pure and unspoiled. Furthermore, it’s much easier on a man’s pride to lose a chick to another chick than to another dude. “Well, at least it’s not me,” he thinks. “She doesn’t like ANY dudes.” Of course, in the end, we all know the lesbian thing is an act. No woman can resist the **** forever.”

–Piper