Dear Piper,

My husband keeps telling me that his penis isn’t going to blow itself. I’m not convinced and think we should give it more time. What do you think?

–Windy City Wendy

Dear Windy City Wendy,

I’m an optimist. I think it’s possible. And that could be just the beginning. It could learn to do the laundry, make crepes and maybe even file a tax return. Be careful of it becoming too independent, however, because it might just wander off one day leaving you to discover you actually miss it.

–Piper