Dear Piper,

WHY DO FEMALES GET SO OFFENDED WHEN MALES ASK THEM TO PERFORM ORAL SEX ON THEM WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEIR INTO IT?

–Jamar

Dear Jamar,

1. You realize that all-caps in an email means you’re yelling, right? WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT PIPER? PIPER DOESN’T LIKE TO BE YELLED AT, JAMAR.

2. THEIR is a possesive, as in “Give the boys their blow jobs and they’ll be happy.” THEY’RE is a conjunction joining the words THEY and ARE as in “When it comes to boys, they’re happiest when they’re getting blown.”

3. Maybe it’s the way you ask, maybe you need a shower or maybe you’re dating the wrong females.

–Piper